Think excitement, talk excitement, act out excitement, and you are bound to become an excited person. Life will take on a new zest, deeper interest and greater meaning. You can think, talk and act yourself into dullness or into monotony or into unhappiness. By the same process you can build up inspiration, excitement and surging depth of joy.
- Norman Vincent Peale
I love this quote.
I turned 40 a few days ago. Apparently the world is supposed to end. I’m supposed to age suddenly like the guy who drinks from the wrong cup at the end of “Indiana Jones in the Last Crusade”, and then shrivel up and die. At least, that’s what everyone is saying. I don’t mind the joking around at all, since obviously it would kind of suck if nobody noticed!
I just don’t get why it is supposed to be so bad. I’m excited about this year. My kids are doing cool things. My wife and I are trying new things. We’re trying a new fitness program and I think it’s really working. My job is getting more exciting every day. So the age seems pretty much irrelevant.
But, it seems a big deal to everyone else, and I thought maybe I was in denial, so I decided to really think about it, and in the end I actually felt even more convinced everything was ok than before.
First of all, I truly believe that the age is in the math. I’m going to live to 100. I’m 40. If you got 40% on a math test, would you consider that lots? Ok, if you’re crappy at math maybe, but you get the idea. Or you could break your life down into it’s phases: childhood, youth, and adulthood. Childhood was really fun, youth was exciting, and adulthood is great so far. If 18 was the end of childhood, and 30 the end of the youth phase, then I’m in year 10 of 70 of my adulthood. Getting upset about it now would be like going for a 3-hour ride and declaring 20 minutes in: “oh my god!! It’s almost over! I’m so depressed!”
So the math pretty much does it for me, but then maybe it sounds a bit like I’m trying to convince myself. So I decided to look a bit deeper. When I used to race cars overseas, I learned a method of dealing with fear, nerves, and uncertainty from Niki Lauda’s book (Ex F1 driver). In his autobiography, he describes how he confronted his fears after coming back from his horrific and disfiguring crash, and went on to win the world championship. It basically involves staring straight into your fears and taking them apart piece by piece like you would a carburetor or a bike.
Let’s say I was nervous about a race. Why am I nervous? Am I afraid of crashing? No, I’m safer here than on the highway. Am I afaid of a breakdown? No, the team is good and I can’t control bad luck. Am I afraid of losing? Maybe, but it’s too late to get faster now. My abilities are what they are, and all I got to do now it get out and do my best.
I found this process really effective, and I did the same thing about turning 40. Why would I be afraid of turning 40? Is it because I’m getting closer to death? We dealt with that age thing above already; there’s lots of time left. Am I afraid I’ve missed something, have unfinished business. Again, lots of time, and I don’t have any regrets anyway, as I have lived about a full life as you can, have not held back ever. Maybe, like when I was 30, (which was harder) people fear that maybe they will soon no longer be able to do all the things they love. Ride bikes, run, jump, toboggan, swim, rassle with the kids, go to the bar and act stupid, compete.
I have a two-part answer, and part 1 is: SAYS WHO??!! My dad is over 60 and he still motors like most 20 yr olds. My mom is also getting much fiiter these days, trying new things. There’s a few 50-somethings at out bike club that are as fast as the kids. Lori-Ann Muenzer was 38 when she knocked off the favorite and then swept a 20-something to win Gold at the Olympics. Age is not limiting, only your attitude is, and I think a gold medal at the olympics is pretty tangible proof that it’s not just a nice thing to say.
The second part of the answer is something I learned when we had kids. At first, when you realize that you can’t really party every night anymore, can’t ride all day, have to give up some person indulgences, you are a bit bummed, but then it hits you; you’d rather be with the kid anyway. My interests and priorities had changed. I didn’t really miss alot of the things that I “could no longer do” because I didn’t want to anyway. So I no longer worry bout the day when maybe I can’t ride fast, or do running races because maybe by then I will be into something else anyway, like flying, or boatbuilding, or sailing. That what my dad is doing. He rides less these days, but he is so passionate about learning to sail, he acts like a 10 year old kid with a new bike.
So I’m turning 40. Yep. People say, “so how does it feel to be old, over the hill, ha ha ha” Honestly, all I can say is, the first 40 were a riot.
I can’t wait for the next 40.
The last two years we spent alot on gear. Alot. Ok, I have friends who spent more on one ski-doo than I have spent on all my gear combined, but relative to most athletic people, we spent a lot. Mountain bikes. track bikes. ‘Cross bikes. Xc skis for the kids. Downhill skis for the kids. Speedskates. A welder (to fix the stuff, make my OWN frames). It goes on. It’s almost embarrassing. People say, wow you’re like really serious bout this eh! But we’re not really, I train way less than most. It’s not like we’re loaded either. We have no new cars, the house needs work, I’m half-done so many reno’s, but I still buy gear. I thought maybe I was addicted to “stuff”. I remember thinking that some guys were dorks for spending sooo much money on a bike when they weren’t Cat 1 racers or anything. Like they hadn’t earned the right to ride a bike that good. They were wannabes. Or when they spent so much time and energy on the technical stuff, like heart rates, average speed, wattage, rpms etc…”BLah blah blah”. I thought, I’ll tell you the technical data I need: If I get dropped, I’m going too slow; if I barf, I went too hard; If I finish somewhere near the front, everything is ok. But had I become a wannabe? So I thought really hard about it. Why do I keep trying all these new sports? Why would that guy spend all his time logging his HR? Why do I go to the garage and rebuild stuff over and over? Is it that I get bored easily? Am I addicted to e-bay?
Then it occurred to me one day: because it keeps the fire burning. It gives us a reason: to stay fit, to get out with friends, to enjoy life. Everyone needs a reason. A reason to get up. A reason to train. A reason to work hard at something. I used to think that people who exercise just to look good were vain, but really, maybe they’re not vain, they just work hard at staying fit and healthy; looking good is their reason. Who am I to judge? Dude with the expensive bike maybe isn’t fast, but the extra cool bike is the reason he rides. He digs the best bike around. The only thing that matters is that it gets him out of bed and on the bike. Two years ago we joined a new bike club just simply to try new things. Since then we’ve tried track, ‘cross, mtn bike racing, and speedskating. And it looks schizophrenic to some of our friends, because we seem to be just jumping from thing to thing. Actually, what’s happening is that each new thing gives us a new reason, a new fire in the belly to get out. We do everything as a family. Every new thing we can do together is another new adventure together.
So yup, we spent waaaay too much on gear lately. but we are sooooo pumped to do more of our latest things, speedskating and XC skiing. Maybe we’ll get bored and it would seem we bought the stuff prematurely.
But that’s ok, we’ll sell the stuff and use the money to pay for the next thing…..I can’t wait!
Ever hang out with someone and when you’re done you feel really good, happy, positive? Ever wonder why? Ever look back and think about how the visit went? I count myself super fortunate because I’ve got a ton o’ people like that in my life, and a while back my wife and I started talking about why certain people were like a battery recharger. It’s not because they understand, or have similar interests, or agree with us, or any of the traditional things people associate with friendship. It always seems to be because these people find a way to genuinely see the positive in just about everything. My parents were always like that. Crashed my bike dad. “Well you got the annual crash out of the way, so now you relax the rest of the year”. It’s always so COLD in Alberta. “Ain’t it awesome? We got mountains, prairie, lots of untouched wilderness, hospitable people, a good economy; thank god for the horrible cold or every sap in the world would want to live here” That’s what I mean, but it’s not all. Some people just always are genuinely interested in what you have to say, what you’ve been doing, how it’s going, especially the details. They’re genuinely excited to hear about your latest adventure. I have a good friend that is the epitome of positive energy. I joke that if he met an axe murderer, the conversation would go like this:
“So what do you do for a living?”
“I kill people and chop them up.”
“Really!? I’ve never met anyone that did that! I always wondered, do you sharpen your own axes?”
“Nope, got to get them professionally done.”
“Well yes, I guess it would be ton of work with dull axes, good thinking!”
Ok, so obviously it’s a ridiculous joke but you get the idea. When you leave you feel good and positive and it spreads a little. Imagine if it spread everywhere, to everyone around you, everyone you know. How great would THAT be! The other day I saw a quote that said “Be a fountain, not a drain” (author unkown to me) I thought it was perfect, had to put it on my wall. That’s what these people are; a fountain, and it spreads to everyone around them; it attracts positive people to them; and it’s a big positive snowball.
So I think I’m going to focus alot on that. Being a fountain.
