I turned 40 a few days ago. Apparently the world is supposed to end. I’m supposed to age suddenly like the guy who drinks from the wrong cup at the end of “Indiana Jones in the Last Crusade”, and then shrivel up and die. At least, that’s what everyone is saying. I don’t mind the joking around at all, since obviously it would kind of suck if nobody noticed!
I just don’t get why it is supposed to be so bad. I’m excited about this year. My kids are doing cool things. My wife and I are trying new things. We’re trying a new fitness program and I think it’s really working. My job is getting more exciting every day. So the age seems pretty much irrelevant.
But, it seems a big deal to everyone else, and I thought maybe I was in denial, so I decided to really think about it, and in the end I actually felt even more convinced everything was ok than before.
First of all, I truly believe that the age is in the math. I’m going to live to 100. I’m 40. If you got 40% on a math test, would you consider that lots? Ok, if you’re crappy at math maybe, but you get the idea. Or you could break your life down into it’s phases: childhood, youth, and adulthood. Childhood was really fun, youth was exciting, and adulthood is great so far. If 18 was the end of childhood, and 30 the end of the youth phase, then I’m in year 10 of 70 of my adulthood. Getting upset about it now would be like going for a 3-hour ride and declaring 20 minutes in: “oh my god!! It’s almost over! I’m so depressed!”
So the math pretty much does it for me, but then maybe it sounds a bit like I’m trying to convince myself. So I decided to look a bit deeper. When I used to race cars overseas, I learned a method of dealing with fear, nerves, and uncertainty from Niki Lauda’s book (Ex F1 driver). In his autobiography, he describes how he confronted his fears after coming back from his horrific and disfiguring crash, and went on to win the world championship. It basically involves staring straight into your fears and taking them apart piece by piece like you would a carburetor or a bike.
Let’s say I was nervous about a race. Why am I nervous? Am I afraid of crashing? No, I’m safer here than on the highway. Am I afaid of a breakdown? No, the team is good and I can’t control bad luck. Am I afraid of losing? Maybe, but it’s too late to get faster now. My abilities are what they are, and all I got to do now it get out and do my best.
I found this process really effective, and I did the same thing about turning 40. Why would I be afraid of turning 40? Is it because I’m getting closer to death? We dealt with that age thing above already; there’s lots of time left. Am I afraid I’ve missed something, have unfinished business. Again, lots of time, and I don’t have any regrets anyway, as I have lived about a full life as you can, have not held back ever. Maybe, like when I was 30, (which was harder) people fear that maybe they will soon no longer be able to do all the things they love. Ride bikes, run, jump, toboggan, swim, rassle with the kids, go to the bar and act stupid, compete.
I have a two-part answer, and part 1 is: SAYS WHO??!! My dad is over 60 and he still motors like most 20 yr olds. My mom is also getting much fiiter these days, trying new things. There’s a few 50-somethings at out bike club that are as fast as the kids. Lori-Ann Muenzer was 38 when she knocked off the favorite and then swept a 20-something to win Gold at the Olympics. Age is not limiting, only your attitude is, and I think a gold medal at the olympics is pretty tangible proof that it’s not just a nice thing to say.
The second part of the answer is something I learned when we had kids. At first, when you realize that you can’t really party every night anymore, can’t ride all day, have to give up some person indulgences, you are a bit bummed, but then it hits you; you’d rather be with the kid anyway. My interests and priorities had changed. I didn’t really miss alot of the things that I “could no longer do” because I didn’t want to anyway. So I no longer worry bout the day when maybe I can’t ride fast, or do running races because maybe by then I will be into something else anyway, like flying, or boatbuilding, or sailing. That what my dad is doing. He rides less these days, but he is so passionate about learning to sail, he acts like a 10 year old kid with a new bike.
So I’m turning 40. Yep. People say, “so how does it feel to be old, over the hill, ha ha ha” Honestly, all I can say is, the first 40 were a riot.
I can’t wait for the next 40.
